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space!!! There is more to come shortly.
24 June 2011 - Snake Management in Wimbledon?
Don't worry, dear readers! This is no horror story about snakes. Luckily the above mentioned snake is not really a cobra, rattlesnake or python but the false friend of the word 'queue' (like the famous Herbert Knebel queue at the sausage counter) as the Germans have only one word (Schlange) for 'snake' and 'queue'
So be careful when translating the word 'Schlange' into English. When I am in London and hear Germans complain about "the long snake in front of Madam Tussaud's I would safely assume that they did not mean 'snake' but 'queue'. However, if some German told me outside a pub that there was a long snake in front of the bar - and we were in the middle of Australia - I sure would check what exactly he meant before going in to order my pint of Foster's.
On Friday, 24 June, I experienced the famous Queue in Wimbledon as I wanted to see some live tennis. To get in the right mood I borrowed the biography of tennis legend Ilie Nastase from the library before I boarded the train to London.
At 11.30 I reached the end of the long queue in Wimbledon Park, clearly indicated by a man holding a huge green lollipop with the letter 'Q' on it. One of the friendly stewards gave me a Queue Card (not transferable) dated 24 June, with the number 10517. Number 10517? Did that mean there were 10,516 people in front of me? I asked another friendly steward who confirmed my suspicion but said the "you will probably be in the ground between five and six o'clock, sir". Five or six o'clock!?! Waiting for six hours!?! Bloody hell!!!
Another friendly steward handed out a 'Guide to Queueing' which explained on 30(!!!) pages how to queue properly. It was very helpful to know that "pizza/take-away orders must be arranged for delivery at the Wimbledon Park Road Gate only" . Thank God for that valuable information! I was getting hungry but I had forgotten to buy anything.
Of course, all the other people in the queue stayed cool, calm and collected. Luckily, the Nastase biography was 260 pages long and I started to read while moving angonizingly slowly forward. Then the moving stopped. Another friendly steward (I can reveal they were all annoyingly friendly) told us that we should make ourselves comfortable as there would be no movement for at least half an hour as the ground had now reached its full capacity. From now on it would be 'one out, one in'. Then my neighbour introduced himself and his partner They had been in the queue before and had prepared themselves with sandwiches, drinks and reading material. They were from Portsmouth and hoped to see Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal. As they offered me a couple of sandwiches, I let them use my sun lotion and we had a good chat while sitting down on the grass. Soon other people joined the conversation and I was almost a bit annoyed when another steward interrupted our party after 20 minutes and told us that the queue would be moving soon, so "please get up (wake up) and please do not leave any rubbish on the grass".
Bye, the way I have to admit that the organisation there was very effective and efficient (almost German - just much more friendly) and when we turned round a corner we saw ice-cream vans, burger stands, drink stands and lots of toilets. I could also see about 200 tents where people were already waiting in The Queue for Saturday's matches.
By that time I had waived any idea of jumping the queue. It was beginning to be fun and I felt rather British. Jumping the queue? No thanks! Anyway, the 'Guide to Queueing' warned us that there would be checks, and jumping the queue "would not be tolerated". And - fair enough - there were gates where we had to show our Queue Cards to another friendly steward.
Moving forward slowly but steadily, we passed several activity stands, one of them offered to "test your speed of service". Some of my friends and I joined another queue to serve three times. The one with the highest speed could win £500 which was motivating. I tried very hard and my quickest serve was 74 miles per hour (A certain Boris Becker, who was commentating for the BBC, had managed 95 miles in the morning).
Half past four. A steward informed us (in a friendly way - you thought I would miss that, didn't you?) that we were now approaching the security checkpoint and then things would move quickly. And the price for a ground pass would go down from £20 to £14 at five o'clock, so we would save some money.
Half past five. After passing security (as thorough as at airports) I hand over £14 to the cashier at Gate 3 and receive my ground pass (except Centre Court and Court No. 1). The ground is huge and the Centre Court looks very impressive. I stop at Court 8 and watch a doubles match between players I don't know while trying to find out where the big action is. Then it starts to rain. All courts are quickly covered, the process is very efficient and the ball boys and ball girls get a deserved round of applause. I queue for a diet Pepsi "no ice please" (because I don't want to pay for water) and wait. An announcement is made that there will be regular announcements to keep us updated. Half an hour later another announcement informs us that "all games are suspended for the rest of the day". I walk over to Court No. 1 and climb Henman Hill to watch some tennis on the big screen. Together with about 2,000 fans I cheer on 'our' British hope Andy Murray (a.k.a. "the Scottish twit" when he loses). He is playing on the 'under cover' Centre Court. The atmosphere is a bit like in The Queue, people share their umbrellas and blankets.
Who wants to sit on Centre Court? I don't!
Week 26
As I was extremely busy last week I did not have time to write
my usual update. However, to improve the quality of my weekly updates I
would be very grateful if you could drop me a line (you know the
address) and make suggestions what you would like to read about in
future. Go on, it only takes 5 minutes.
I look forward to reading from you.
PS: One bit of news: On Saturday Sue and I went to a summer picnic
concert at Kenwood House in North London to see Kinks singer Ray Davies
and his band perform. We were sitting in cosy deckchairs[1] and were enjoying the concert
when it started to rain "a little". We were not as well prepared as
some experienced punters[2]
who came with golf umbrellas, plastic covers, cooling boxes, BBQs etc.
[1] deckchairs -
Liegestühle
[2] punters - etwa: Kunden
Week 25
Another eventful week! On Tuesday evening I taught German from 7.30 to
9.30 after a hectic day at work. Three of my students are flying to
Germany in August or September, so they learned how to book a flight to
Düsseldorf, reserve a table at Niko's restaurant and buy
tickets for the Mondpalast. After the course I rewarded myself with a
pint of Carling at the Wyvern.
On Saturday it was Lucy's big day on stage when her acting group
"Beginners on Stage" performed two shows at the Princess Theatre in
Aldershot. Lucy was dressed up as a ladybird[1]
who had to dance with her group. She also had some lines to
say, such as "We are pretty and cute, and everyone loves us". We love
you, too!
On Sunday it was Father's Day in England (Mother's Day is celebrated in
March) and I was served a full English breakfast by my two girls in the
morning. Then I drove to London to check out how to get to Kenwood
House in Hamstead Heath for the Ray Davies concert on 27 June. There
was also enough time for a detour[2] to
the Zeitgeist in Lambeth where I enjoyed a pint of Köpi and
Currywurst & Pommes while watching the Formula One race on RTL.
Back home I could have 40 winks[3]
because Sue and Lucy were out buying things for the garden. At half five[4] the family was reunited and
we played in the garden.
A perfect end to the week for a busy father!
[1] ladybird -
Marienkäfer
[2] for a detour - Umweg
[3] 40 winks - ein kurzes Nickerchen
[4] half five - halb sechs
Week 24
The highlight of week 24 was my visit to the hairdresser's on Monday.
And here's a tip for everyone who still thinks that England is an
expensive place for holidays. There is a sure way of making the most of
your precious €€€. Just let your hair grow
while you are in Germany and when you come to England, make a hair care
appointment at Farnborough Technical College ("the Tech" for insiders).
For only £3 (approximately €3.65) you can enjoy a
hair wash and a hair cut by a young female hairdresser who is doing a
hairstyling course at the Tech. Just compare that with what you pay at
your local Turkish barber/hairdresser in Bochum, Wanne-Eickel or
Bottrop!
Do not worry, there are supervisors and trainers present who watch that
no ears are cut off and that the customer gets a decent result. I told
them that I wanted to look like Mick Jagger in three months, so judge
for yourself when you see me in August.
Marketing language has entered the world of hair cutting, too. The
intern[1] is now called
junior hair stylist, the apprentice[2]
calls herself hair stylist and every "Friseuse" or "Frisörin"
is either a hair consultant, a hair manager or a hair director.
So there is one more reason to come to England and save your hard
earned money! I am looking forward to seeing you.
[1] intern -Praktikantin
(remember Monica Lewinsky)
[2] apprentice - Lehrling
Week 23
Week 23 went by very quickly again. After a warm and sunny start it
began to cool down on Wednesday and there were some spots of rain
lately.
At work I started using some old worksheets on adverbs (do you remember
the 50/50 worksheet?) for my learners. They also got some homework over
the weekend to calculate the total price of all meals on the menu of my
favourite Greek restaurant Bei Niko in
Wanne-Eickel. I hope Niko will be impressed when I tell him how much
one would have to pay if one ate every meal on the menu and will "thank
me with a free Ouzo.
On Sunday morning I met my brother-in-law Andy at the Prince Arthur in
Fleet for our monthly English Farmhouse Breakfast (only
£3.89) which keeps you going for the whole day. We finished
the breakfast off with a morning pint. By the way, I have started
collecting all kinds of pint glasses. I even managed to get a Veltins
glass (which I think had fallen off the back of a lorry[1] ). I also got a Beck's pint
glass from Angie who is one of the barmaids in my Social Club.
Yesterday I booked the ferry (6 August to 16 August), so we will be
able to meet a few people at Steinmeister's during the Cranger festival.
Last, but not least my personal Veltins and Köpi Beer Balance
Sheet: Only 48 bottles left in the shed until August.
[1] something fell off the back of a lorry - das habe ich "gefunden"
Week 22
The week finished with wonderful weather at the weekend. On Saturday
afternoon we drove to Winchester to meet up with some old friends who
we hadn't seen for some time. Lucy took her paddling pool with her and
asked John and Elisabeth whether[1]
they would fill it with water.
John likes football so we commuted[2]
between the garden and the telly. In the end Chelsea won 2:1 against
Everton.
In the evening we went to my mother-in-law for a BBQ which went well. I
had a bottle of alcohol-free Beck's as I was driving. Later I had a
bottle of Veltins to round off the evening.
I've still got just over fifty bottles of Veltins
and Köpi left, so I can drink about 0.7
bottles every day until the beginning of August when we will be
visiting the
"Ruhrpott" again.
On Sunday my old classmate Horst phoned and confirmed that he would
love to see Jeff Beck at the Royal Albert Hall with me on 4 July. I am
sure that we will have a lot to chat about. By the way, I've still got
two spare tickets to see Ray Davies, the former lead singer of The
Kinks, at Kenwood House in North London on 27 June. It will be a summer
garden party and you can enjoy the show from your comfortable deck
chair "sipping at your ice cold beer" (to quote their hit Sunny
Afternoon). If you are interested, send me a mail.
My new job as Basic Skills Trainer is still going okay.
[1] whether - ob
[2] to commute - pendeln
Week 21
The learners have arrived and at the end of the week they were shown
the ropes[1].
The working week passed very quickly.
On Saturday I went to the Zeitgeist[2]
in London to watch the Bundesliga final. The atmosphere was brilliant
as the pub was full with all kinds of Bayern, Stuttgart, Dortmund,
Cologne, Karlsruhe, Hamburg, Cottbus and Fortuna Düsseldorf
supporters. I could not believe that I was the only Schalke supporter
present. The König Pilsener (draught[3])
tasted wonderful and I mangaged to down[4]
four pints during the afternoon. The Currywurst Pommes at the Zeitgeist
is also very tasty, by the way.
Everyone in the pub agreed that the Wolfsburg supporters did not really
deserve to be "champions" because they just did not know how to
celebrate in style. Every funeral "on" Schalke is more lively.
[1] to show someone the ropes - jdn.
in alles einweisen
[2] check it out on "Zeitgeist-London.com"
[3] to down - schnell trinken
[4] draught - vom Fass (there are over 10 kinds of draught German Pils
- if paradise was half as nice ...!!!)
Week 20
On Monday, 11 May, I started a new job at Community Systems as Core
Skills Trainer in Farnborough which is about 6 miles from where we
live. CS provides training for adults to get a job or to stay in a job.
Its head office is in Wembley (basically next to Wembley Stadium) where
I had my first interview on 31 March. CS has branches in London,
Portsmouth, Southampton and now in Farnborough.
My job will be to help unemployed adults improve their literacy,
numeracy and employability skills. The Farnborough branch is new which
makes it an exciting project. I will be teaching one group (about 15
learners) in the morning and another group in the afternoon. The
learners will start on 18 May.
Advantages of my job are:
- A friendly team which consists of two other trainers, two support officers, one job broker and the manager. Funnily enough, all trainers are foreigners (from Germany, Hungary and Romania).
- The swimming pool is next door and once a week I go lane swimming in my lunch hour (13.00 - 14.00).
- I am aiming at cycling to work at least once a week.
- My job starts at 9.30 so I have time to take Lucy to school (the downside is a late finish at 6pm but one can't have one's cake and eat it)
- My classroom is my castle
09-05-2009
I will be doing a one-day seminar on "Interviews" at VHS Bochum
on 9 May from 10am to 4.30pm. You will have plenty of
opportunities to simulate job interviews. If you are interested phone
Ulrike Ladwig on 0234 910 2868.
28-04-2009
My first German for Beginners course started at Court Moor
Centre on 28 April.
I will teach the learners how to order "Pils und Korn" or "Frikadellen
mit Senf", and will try to convince them to visit Wanne-Eickel,
the European capital of culture,
in August 2010 for the Crange Festival. By that time they might all
have become "Dedicated Followers of Schalke". Watch this space!